I feel this page needs no (un)surprisingly awesome HTML to attract you. Sorry.

 

Also, some people think that since this article is not as serious as possible, that I am thusly not. That's okay. Their websites weren't going to be funny anyway, if they can't distinguish between humor and seriousness. 

 

The point of asking me for webspace is

 

1. Help Burnt Toast grow into a monstrous industry and help defeat the supreme enemy: Walmart.

2. ... You get free hosting.

 

1. Unlimited bandwidth and disk space.

2. Possible access to make shirts for the Burnt Toast Store.

3. Free email with unlimited blah blah blah.

4. A shiny forum name.

1. Porn.

2. Pointless violence.

3. Whore yourself out.

4. Illegal stuff. 

 

1. Photography.

2. Humorous things.

3. Band pages.

4. Tutorials for just about anything.
5. Clan websites.

1. Mail spencer[at]burnttoastonline[dot]com and tell me why you need the webspace.

2. Mail me on the forums.

3. AIM me. Can't figure out my AIM, you're too stupid to be a Toaster.

4. Be patient. I have a life too. (Or, just a life. You might not have one, which only helps my decision-making process)

1. Risk being famous.

2. Risk being a Toaster and thus having instant respect by ruling with an iron fist.

3. You grow to be a lovable person and everyone enjoys your company.

 

I am not an asshole. Well. I am. But I will NEVER, EVER:

 

1. Ads. The ONLY way I would EVER post ads on my website was if I tried a donation drive and no-one donated, and I'm living in a cardboard box/dumpster/ghetto and need the money horribly.

2. I DO NOT CARE WHO YOU ARE. I don't care if I hate you intensely, I don't care if we're great friends and we have a huge fight and hate each other for ever... I will NEVER. EVER. Delete ANYTHING from your website. You'd have to have malicious code or something. *

 

* This doesn't count if you are flat-out annoying and I cannot talk to you in a business-y conversation simply because all we do is fight and get nothing accomplished. And I still won't delete your stuff; I just won't offer the webspace to you. You can however hate me... as long as we can work together. Best (and only) example is Crate.

 

 

Thanks for signing up to be a Toaster and stuff. You guys are great.